New Beginings

Hi everyone, this is my very first blog. I'm starting this as a memory to myself as to what goes on in my life and to give others a chance to see an older womans point of view on motherhood. I'm sure it's not that different to other peoples experiences but you never know.

I suppose the first thing to say is I'm now 42 and set out on my journey with Isabella my now 9 and a half month old I suppose at the age of 40. Here I am didn't know I was preganant in this picture but I should have as I've never had bossoms that big in my life before.

I think it might be my age but I don't really remember having any bad times when I was pregnant just not so good times. These were the not eating too well at the begining, but not having morning sickness, just not eating that much, which was a little worrying as I was carrying a child. Everyone told me not to worry that towards the end of the pregnancy I would start to pile on the pounds. Well I never did which was wonderful but did gain enough weight to keep me happy my child was safe.

Isabella by the way was born 6lb 6ounces at 1.11am on a Sunday morning. Again not much to write home about with the pregnancy except I never got to have any maternity leave prior to the birth as my waters broke the day before I was due to finish, Isabella came 2 weeks earlier than expected. My waters broke on the Thursday night just after I got home from work.

As usual I was doing a bit too much, moving some books out of the now nursery into another room but think I took a couple too many at once, I'm always doing too much. Anyway lets just say I'd been to the toilet not seconds before, sorry to be so crewd but this is about child birth and i'm sure you all watch one born every minute, everyone does seem to these days except me. Anyway, so I'd just been for a wee then went back into one of the bedrooms and thought oh that's a bit strange I think I've just had a wee. Well not having gone through any of this before I just carried on for a few minutes putting it out of my mind. It didn't seem that much after all and I thought if your're waters broke it was like a waterfall, or so that's what people said. So I carried on for at least another 10 minutes before it finally dawned on me that possibly my waters had broke.

Panic then set in a little bit, as I was on my own. The thought of oh no what if she comes when i'm on my own rushed through my head at this point along with another hundred oh no's. Well they needn't as it was Isabella didn't make her way into the world until another 2 days later. Fortunately my partner arrived home upon me saying I think my waters have broke. He then went into practical mode, right phone the midwife, so I did, and we discovered yes they had and at that point both of us started to try and stay calm but paniced a little at the same time. I hadn't even put my overnight bag together, I had bought everything but just didn't have it together. So I grabbed a few things and my partner grabbed a few more and off we went to the hospital. Me thinking they'd check me over and send me home. That of course didn't happen.

I spent the next day wondering what was going on. Contractions would start then they would stop. So on the Saturday morning they said they were going to induce me and induce me they did. We started at about 6pm that night and it only took until 1.11am on the Sunday morning for Isabella to appear. She was so beautiful, they had to do it quick as my blood pressure had dropped and they didn't want to take any chances so think it was probably a little worse than a slower delivery would have been but at least it was over quickly. Can't be doing with all that pallaver. Would like to say I only did it with gas and air but i'm afraid the pain was far too much for me to stand and someone who is usually so strong decided not to be a hero and just take some help for a change. So glad I did. Not everyones choice as I had paracetamol and then the Demerol.

The gas and air initially made me giddy felt like I was at a party, thought it was going to be a breeze, but boy was I wrong. I'd been to Antenatal Yoga before hand and had all the breathing techniques which I used but still I couldn't cope. The Midwife Denise had turned up the inducing juice so was bringing the contractions on hard and strong to get this over for me, but the result was that it was too much for me to bare. My partner was amazing did everything I asked and more. Was there every bounce on the birthing ball to help. Stroked my hair which was wonderful, then it wasn't so he stopped. You can never make your mind up when you're giving birth, one minute something is helping the next it is the most annoying thing on the planet. You just don't know what to do with yourself.

We had a tiny bit of trouble with madam before she finally decided she was going to put an appearance in. She'd turned as she was making her way out and had ended up back to back with me which I can assure you is not something you want. This could have ended up in an emergency C section but for the fantastic Midwife who managed to turn her for me while she was still inside.

So finally the moment came Isabella was poking her head out and the Midwife said I was allowed to push. Up to that point I'd had to hold back from pushing so as to not hurt Isabella but the contractions where so strong at this point it was so hard not to push. Finally, finally I was allowed to push, you can't imagine what a relief that was, even though it hurt and of course I can't describe how it hurt,. The little baby slipped her way out and cried like a good one. Crawled up to my breast and started suckling. Yes that was the happiest moment of my life and here she is my wonderful little girl.